Straight Talk

There are so many experiences and reactions to those experiences that I am tempted to write about in this blog. I used to write absolutely everything I felt. But I have come to know that my American ‘directness’ is neither appreciated nor well tolerated here.

And so I weigh the pros and cons of being direct in my mind. Not just here in Morocco, but in every circumstance in life. And, as always, I come to the conclusion that the best path is in the middle. If I can learn to express my feelings in a more ‘cultured’ manner, I will have more peace of mind. And by this I mean with more consideration and forethought about the ‘culture’ I am living and operating in. And I don’t think of culture as something necessarily foreign, unless it’s to realize it’s something foreign to my experience. An experience I haven’t lived or a view I didn’t grow up with, for example.

Too often I just shut up instead of practicing a more thoughtful approach. This, too, is a mistake because I replay imagined and real dialogues in my head. I can’t find peace. So my lesson is to temper my tongue. Develop ‘Right Speech’. This is rather a challenge coming from a culture where speaking one’s mind is more often than not seen as an admirable trait. And coming from a family where the barbed ‘come back’ was admired, often applauded and tacitly encouraged.

What a Petri dish this place is for me. Without close friends or family or even someone who can offer wise counsel I find I am left on my own to figure out how to be. These days I am my own guide, my own teacher.

It helps immensely if I keep reminding myself I am where I should be. And, too, remember the gestation of the idea to visit Fes. Back in San Rafael, I had seen a documentary on the Sacred Music Festival and it was from this film that I learned Fes was considered the spiritual capital of Morocco. I wanted to grow spiritually, so visiting Fes seemed like a good place to further my growth.

Ahhhh, it’s so true what they say.

Be careful what you ask for …