The eBox Washing Machine

I just bought the smallest washing machine you've ever seen (it fit nicely in the back seat of the car). Unfortunately, I can't figure out how to use it yet. The Operating Instruction Manual shows the main parts of the machine which don't exactly correspond with the machine sitting on my terrace. Reading through the manual has left me more confused than enlightened but it is a great source of entertainment. Here are a few of my favorite warnings and instructions.

The manufacturer of the eBox begins by extolling the virtues of 'one of the newest types of our company'. That sounds good. It has a better design and the instruction manual says when the wavy wheel is running (I guess they mean the agitator), 'the current issorbed [sic] into the special setup (again, that sounds positive) which is watercourse (????) and raised immediately, then it will spray out with strongly, in the same direction, in the same time it also shapes the strong current and washes the clothes from different directions.' Really? It does that?

Being a responsible organization, the manufacturer of the eBox goes on to warn the user with a list of things to avoid. My favorite is as follows:

The instrument is not planned to be used by the person who has disfigurement in body, sensory organ, intelligence, or the person who is short of experience and general knowledge (including kids), unless they are taken enough care, and are instructed how to use the instrument by the person who takes care of their safe.

I think I fall into the category of the person who is short of eBox experience so it would probably be wise for me to find someone to take care of my safe.

Under the heading of "Washing Orders", which sounds very absolute and serious to me, a list of do's and don'ts follow. I pay special attention to #5 which says "Hairy balls, collars should be turned inside." I know how to turn a collar inside (as well as inside out) but I am dumbfounded as to how to turn a hairy ball inside. Can anyone advise me because this seems important and potentially painful.

There is a section detailing the prescribed method for washing woolen 'blandets', which was obviously meant to read blankets. The boldface heading, Method for Woolen Blandets begins with an admonition; "Washing pure woolen blanket and electric blanket are absolutely forbidden." Then a series of 4 steps are listed on how to wash a woolen blanket. Curious.

Under the Maintenance section reference is made to a 'de-hair device'. I've yet to locate this de-hair device but when I do, I now know that if I want to clean it, I must dismantle it with a finger pressing the inside bottom. I wonder if this de-hair device is necessary because people often fail to turn their hairy balls inside. I make a mental note to be sure to investigate this hairy ball situation further.

My eBox can't really be that complicated to operate and I am confident I can figure it out; especially armed with a handy brochure to help me avoid electric strokes and strikes, plastic parts def-forms, advice on proper water lebels and those situations where a washing agent without ferment is called for. Oh, and I should not place my eBox in the bathroom, the place where rain comes in easily.

Let the laundering begin!